A Book Review by me

Mr. Tayto

The Man in the Red Jacket

A review by Angela Macari O’Looney

As I was doing some last minute shopping in my usual Supermarket, I spotted this book with one of my favourite Irish characters on the front cover. I had seen it promoted a while before this, but on that occasion thought it a little above my budget as I waited to pay for my goods.

However, this time I noticed it was marked down 30% and so I chucked it into my shopping trolley. As it happened I was short of some light reading for work, so I took it from my bookshelf and thought it might be handy for when I was waiting at my terminus. I drive a bus.

From the get go Mr. Tayto takes you through the evolution of the Tayto Crisp, starting with the amusing accidental discovery that his Pa made one evening, when he took a few of his Granny’s thinly chipped potatoes garnished with salt and vinegar, to the pub to go with his pint. From thence, it seems the popularity of the Tayto family discovery grew.

The stocky bejacketed man tells us his hilarious anecdotes about childhood, factory life, politics and romance. Beautifully illustrated, this little book had me laughing out loud. It touched on such topics as the Recession, The Rose of Tralee, and Reality T.V. It seems our friend has something to say on just about every subject and isn’t backwards in coming forwards about his opinions.

Tayto never reveals his true identity and yet you know that for instance the names used in the part about his family tree, are his way of taking the Micko!

You almost feel like you’re sitting beside him pint in hand, hearing his views and funny tales like you’re his closest friend. One favourite section of the book is during the chapter Back to my roots. He says But life was good back then. This was in a time before iPods, Hoverbikes and mobile phones and when a holiday meant getting the bus to the beach and sitting in a cheap caravan for a week, with a pack of cards. We didn’t know the difference between ‘good’ and ‘bad’ fats and no one ever heard of a disease called obesity. If a kid was fat, you just chase him till he got thin, or better still made him goalie. And spam was something that came in a tin.
This bit makes me reflect on how vastly things have changed in the space of a couple of decades.

In the chapter Deck the halls with bags of Tayto, I like the sentiment; back in the days when Christmas didn’t start in August. and No one forgot to buy batteries, as none of our presents needed them.
I honestly felt that he had taken me by the hand and shown me a vision of my own childhood Christmases, with the smell of a fresh fir tree, dried fruit and alcohol cooking, the sense of excitement in both young and old as the big day drew close and a real feeling that somebody very special was on his way.

In some ways this life story reminds me of the film Forest Gump, with the amazing adventures Tayto gets up to and his claims to fame, such as photos taken with Taoisaigh, Politicians, Celebrity Beauties, even a lovely picture taken of him clad in the Ireland Kit from 1990, when Jack Charlton took our team to Italy for the World Cup.
The Credit Unions were busy helping send Jackie’s army all around the world and paying for Green hands, Hammers and Leprechaun hats.

Also in the chapter Goodbye Celtic Tater, I find his words of wisdom and observations bang on.
For example his take on the worst pain in the bum to all Dublin drivers, the m50. the 50 stands for 50% there!

I burst into fits of laughter when he talked about the arrival of fancy coffee, wedding planners and the recent arrival of Pandemics. You get some great jokes out of Tayto’s Christmas Crackers too; What snack sang the Lady in Red? Crisp de Burgh!and Two Tayto crisps walked into a bar. One was a salted!

Election Campaign 2007, Humble Spud
This is probably the most memorable chapter of this book for me. Tayto mentions comedian Frank Kelly (Father Jack in the comedy series ‘Father Ted’), who is supposed to have helped him with his campaign and who he had lined up for Tainaiste if the Spud won the election. Methinks the funniest man in Ireland may have been involved in the writing of this book too!

If anyone can trace back to this campaign, on each lamppost around the Country, the faces of candidates looked out from posters at us smiling. On each lamppost there also hung a poster depicting a yellow faced potato sporting a red rosette with No 1 on his lapel. I can remember this time myself. You know when you get to the voting station sometimes and think ‘What if I just wrote none of the above at the bottom of my voting slip?’ Well I did consider putting Mr. Tayto, your only man on my slip just for fun. But in the end I didn’t.

Anyway in this part of the book he tells of his adventures which are very funny indeed. He had a run-in with Michael and Jackie Healy Rae down in Co. Kerry. He shows a picture of them giving him a piece of their minds which was in the national Newspapers.
Poor Tayto got himself into a bit of hot water during his tour to get votes. He wasn’t too popular with the other candidates who felt he was making fun out of politics. Maybe he was reminding them that they take themselves too seriously, when the electorate don’t!

Nevertheless he mentions that his campaign was hurt by efforts of sabotage; on a tour of the midlands later in the campaign, the Tayto election bus wouldn’t fit under a bridge in Longford and to this day, I’m not convinced the opposition didn’t have it lowered.
Maybe it didn’t help him that he said what everyone else was thinking; I hadn’t even been given the training the other politicians had, ya know, the knack for answering questions without actually giving an answer!

I n the chapter My take on Dublin he reminds us of a few interesting and amusing traits about Dubliners, one of which is the nicknaming of our monuments. There’s Molly Malone-the Tart with the Cart at the bottom of Grafton Street. The ‘hags with the bags’ by the Ha’Penny Bridge, the ‘Flue with the view’ in Smithfield and the ‘Stick in the sick’(the Spire) and Phil Lynott outside Bruxelles-‘The Ace with the Bass’.

One thing hit a nerve in this chapter though. It was Tayto’s criticism of our Transport System, which I found a hard pill to swallow being a faithful employee of Dublin’s bus service for over twenty five years. He tears the Darts, Luas and Buses to shreds saying that it’s the worst public transport in the world outside of possibly Karachi. OUCH!

I forgive you Mr. Tayto. There is always room for improvement and perhaps constructive criticism is acceptable. After all you did cheer me up between journeys at a time when I was faced with icy road conditions and the onslaught of Big Freeze 2010 in our City.

The Future is Potato shaped

In the final chapter of his book, our hero talks of the endless possibilities for his future, including perhaps bringing out a charity single; All you need are Spuds? Cheese release me?
What was Tayto’s motive behind writing this Biography I wonder?
He says it was to put the ‘record’ straight about himself. But I get the feeling that there was more to it. There is after all a lot of choices out there that there weren’t years ago, even in your bag of crisps. I for instance was munching on a bag of Walkers lites when I opened the first chapter of this book, up at my terminus, (and I’m not just saying this ‘cause he insulted CIE).

Bottom line I have to say that it is definitely a good read if you’re a Dubliner and since I read it I have Tayto LFCs in my cupboard. If that was all he wanted, it worked!
I can finish with an old Irish saying that fits here; There’s more than one way to skin a cat! (or peel a potato)